We searched high and low for a phrase similar to hasta manana but couldn't find one - nothing is that urgent in 'coconut life'!
Our pacific playtime began with a welcome song at Fiji's Nadi airport:
''There may be a coup in Fiji,
But there's no need to shudder,
Get yourselves out to the Yasawas,
Where they couldn't give a bugger''
(At least that's what Steve thought they were singing!)
The Ultimate Lei-zeArriving without accommodation, our first stop was the Fiji Travel Bureau in Nadi town where we met the flowery shirt, sarong, and flip-flop clad Minister for Tourism - our first sign of just how relaxed things were going to be! In fact, the Fijians are so laid back that the General postponed the military coup by a week because he wanted to watch the rugby!!
After exploring the main island of Vitu Levu for a few days, we hitched a ride on the 'Yasawa Flyer' (a big yellow catamaran) out to the Mamanuca and Yasawa islands in search of the perfect beach ...
5 hours later, the most beautiful ferry journey ever brought us to Nanunya Laila, home to the infamous Blue Lagoon. Hmmm, neither the island nor our 'resort' were quite the paradise we were expecting ... rough seas, high winds, volcanic beaches and a straw shack 3 feet from the water's edge!
Needless to say we soon (within 10 minutes) worked out how to cross the island to the idyllic Blue Lagoon - now this was just how we imagined paradise would be! However, once in the water even that was disappointing as most of the coral was dead - a result of the locals' spear fishing and chucking their anchors wherever, as well as from damage done by the 'Crown of Thorns' - a coral parasite.
The 'resort' itself was, erm, an experience. A strange and very basic place run by the villagers, we had to say grace before dinner (Ali was made to actually say it one night!!!) then stand up and introduce ourselves afterwards. Still, it was all quite authentic as they were more than happy to feed us a 'lovo' meal (meat cooked in underground ovens), ply us with 'kava' (a mildly narcotic and very disgusting muddy water made from plant roots) and perform Fijian dances (complete with grass skirts and coconut bikini tops) ... right before one of the (male) villagers donned a sparkly dress and red wig and launched into a rendition of Britney Spears' 'I'm not a girl'! A couple of Britney songs later, not to mention a few other drag acts, and the 'traditional Fijian' night ended with the whole village getting on stage to sing YMCA!!!
After 2 days we escaped on the Yasawa Flyer to the island of Naviti. Now this was more like it - clear calm seas, white sandy beaches, hammocks, trees strewn with exotic fruit, ensuite bathrooms, floors in the bures, electricity, hot water etc etc!
Our final stop was Bounty Island (of Celebrity Love Island fame) in the Mamanucas. A tiny little island that took about 20 minutes to walk around, we'd definitely saved the best til last. Unfortunately the 'love shack' was derelict but our beach bure was good enough!
Fiji, whilst lovely was a little disappointing. Expensive and dirty, with rubbish strewn on the beaches, in the sea and on the streets. Whilst we were on a bus a local leant over Ali to throw his coke can out of the window onto the street and nobody thought this unusual!
Groundhog DayLeaving Fiji on Saturday evening, we arrived in Rarotonga (Cook Islands) on Friday! Crossing the International Date Line is definitely a weird experience, though we did get to celebrate the anniversary of the day we met twice!!!
Rarotonga was lovely - just how we'd imagined the South Pacific to be. The people were all so friendly, the food was great, everywhere was clean and there were white sandy beaches and clear blue seas wherever you looked. We stayed in the 'capital' Avarua, basically one street with a colourful market and a few shops, bars and restaurants on!
Needless to say we didn't really do too much other than swim, snorkel and sunbathe. Though, since Steve doesn't do sunbathing without a whinge, we did get a bit energetic one day and walked across the island through the undergrowth and over a (small) mountain. 5 hours and several cuts/bruises later we seriously regretted not spending the day on the beach afterall!
Tropical AwegasmsOur feet itching having stayed in the same place for a few days, we flew over to Aitutaki which we'd heard was particularly beautiful. We weren't disappointed - even smaller than Rarotonga, Aitutaki was paradise. Surrounded by lagoon, it had everything daydreams are made of - white sandy beaches, the clearest turquoise sea we've ever seen, tiny uninhabited motu (islands) dotting the landscape, colourful fish swimming around your feet etc.
Taking a small boat lagoon cruise turned out to be one of the best days of our travels (so far). We had a fantastic time cruising the islands (went passed the 'shipwrecked' islands so you may see us on TV!), snorkelling in the lagoon, eating freshly caught and barbequed fish and generally soaking up the sun - heaven!
However, it wasn't all paradise (we just had to find something to complain about!). Unusually we'd booked accommodation in advance which proved to be a mistake. We were greeted by a very grungy German hippy who showed us around our 'luxury' self contained beach bungalow ... a wooden wreck built by the hippy himself! For example our 'ensuite' was a shower cubicle made out of plywood and a hose pipe, separated from the bedroom by a curtain - need we say more!
Daydream believer...Next up was Tahiti where we expected to be welcomed onto a reef-fringed island by hip-swinging dancers. Hmmmm, Tahiti doesn't quite match its reputation and is a bit of a dump - the beautiful beaches you see in brochures are on the other islands, as are the glamorous over water bungalows, the colourful reefs, marine life etc!
Not only that but Tahiti was also where our luck ran out - first we broke our camera (dropped whilst experiencing a wild 'island night' at a Rarotongan bar the night before we left!), next our plane was early so we had 5 hours to kill in Papeete Airport (with just a few metal chairs and sleeping tramps for company), then we found out the first ferry left 2 hours later on a Sunday, and finally it was raining - a lot!
So here we were in the middle of Papeete - a port town with a nasty reputation - at 5am on a Sunday morning with nothing open except the market. Faced with a 2 hour wait at the rain soaked ferry terminal, the market seemed quite appealing - and bizarrely given the early hour it was packed! Highly colourful and very polynesian, it was bursting with local flowers, fruits, patisseries and art and was actually a cool experience (even Steve thought so). Papeete wasn't as bad as we'd heard either - it was quite a nice little town with friendly locals and a great waterfront area to people watch and chill.
However, we didn't like it enough to stay so we still caught the first ferry over to Mo'orea - where mountains leap out of the lagoon, the beaches are fine and the water is even clearer than it was in Aitutaki. Now this really is idyllic, or at least it would be if the rain would stop!
The problem with paradise (apart from the incessant mosquitos) is that once the sun disappears there's nothing to do. Don't think we didn't try: we hired bikes and cycled around the island (bikes without mudflaps, rain and dirt track roads don't really go together though - you can imagine how we looked at the end!); we explored on foot; we snuck into posh hotels but there was just nothing happening! And as for night life - forget it! We did go to the polynesian night at the Sheraton but it was over by 8.45pm!!!
Naval GazingOne of the most isolated places in the world, we'd heard that those who go the distance to visit Rapa Nui (Easter Island) rarely regret it. It's easy to see why, watching the waves breaking in the endless expanse of ocean, the sun setting behind the world-famous Moai and clouds drifting over the volcanic craters you know you're somewhere unique and magical.
Referred to by the locals as 'The Naval of the World', the nearest populated landmass - the even smaller Pitcairn Island - is 1900 km away. Because of it's isolation (we assume), Rapa Nui has the feel of a land that time forgot. With mainly unsealed roads, buildings no taller than one storey and bandana'd locals riding bareback through the town, we felt like we'd walked onto the set of a Spaghetti Western!
As I'm sure you can tell, we really liked it here. The people were lovely (within 2 hours of arriving we'd had the bank open for us during siesta time as the ATM wasn't working, and the local photographer had hired us his camera as they'd run out of disposables to buy); the food was great; the scenery was out of this world; and, with such a small population, there was hardly any pollution. Plus there was life after 9pm! Adopting a Spanish/South American lifestyle rather than a Polynesian one, days started late and ended later - much more to our taste! In fact we had a great time getting 'pisco'd'!
The only problem we could see was the stray horses (let loose when cars and motorbikes made it to the island) and dogs that are in adundance. The Chileans don't believe in castration so the stray population is getting unmanagable and they are everywhere. It's a particular problem with the horses as they scratch themselves (especially their a*ses) against the Moai and topple them!!!
Well, that and an obsession with the Hollywood flop, 'Rapa Nui', a straight to DvD (at best) movie produced by Kevin Costner ... it was so bad we're sure there were only two copies ever made - one for the safe and one for the islanders who pretty much all appeared in the film as extras! Still, if you ever come across a copy and there's no wet paint around to watch dry then it's worth watching just to see the bad acting for yourselves!
''I'm not a girl...''Whilst each of the Pacific Islands we visited were very different, one thing remained constant - camp men, masculine women and lady boys! We've never seen so many and in some places, Fiji in particular, we weren't quite sure which category most of the population fell into!!
After 4 days of pounding the streets we found our apartment - a lovely one bedroomed place just off BA's equivalent of Oxford Street (how did Ali pull that one off?!) with a balcony to watch the world go by - and moved in the next morning. Just in time to settle in and find a turkey for Christmas dinner - yeah!!!
